Everyone has goals, and the new year is a good time to reevaluate how you’re pursuing yours. However, some people give up or rethink their goals even before January ends. There’s even a name for it on the second Friday of every January: Quitters Day. This year, on January 10.

If you’re on the verge of throwing in the towel, or already have, don’t worry. Contrary to some discouraging headlines, sticking to your resolutions and achieving your goals is not impossible or even impossible — and you can start again at any time. But as a general rule, seeing what you want as “goals” can be more useful than “resolutions,” says Candice Seti, a psychologist, personal trainer and nutrition coach. This is because people tend to do well with goals, as long as you have the right approach and set them for the right reasons.

“It’s very important to approach New Year’s resolutions through the same lens that we approach goal setting,” says Seti.

Goals aren’t just fun to have — they’re essential to what keeps us moving through life. So if it’s a fitness goalsa new wellness standard or hitting the next milestone in your creative passion, here’s what Seti and other experts say about working with your own psychology to achieve your New Year’s resolution.

1. Find a deeper reason for your goal

Like the main character in a movie, you need to find your “want” to make your resolution effective. Seti calls it “revisiting the whys.” Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to eat healthier? (As a spoiler alert, it’s almost never about weight, and almost never about diet.)

“Weight loss is not the goal,” Seti said. “Weight loss is the vehicle to reach the goal.”

To unpack your goal of losing X number of pounds, for example, examine the reasons why you want to. Do you think you feel better? Do you think it makes you feel stronger? Do you smile when you get more energy?

What about your reasons for quitting drinking?

If you’re struggling to find a deeper reason for your purpose, Flynn Skidmore, a therapist and life coach, spends much of his online content teaching people strategies to understand why they want what they want. they did. He explained some of the reasons for taking it down in December PERIOD on his podcast, The Flynn Skidmore Podcast.

“There are layers to it,” Skidmore said on his podcast. “And when you can only see the surface layers of what it means to have a desire or want something, life is very confusing.”

As you go through this mental checklist and find the true value of your goal, you may be given an encouraging boost to pick up where you left off. In another way, by identifying what you want to achieve your goal Granted do for you, you may find that you set the wrong New Year’s resolution. If so, no problem. Just go back to the drawing board with a method that works better for you.

2. If you’re already ‘angry,’ just start over

Yes, it’s really that simple. People may choose to start a new calendar year to gain momentum to achieve a resolution, but if it’s something that’s important to you, there’s no reason to stop just because you fall behind. in the wagon. This can be especially true when it comes to health goals. If your goal is to eat more nutritious foods so you have a better chance of living a longer life with less risk of disease, why dunk all year long just because you ate a few donut or not eating vegetables for a day? If you lead with a no-nonsense attitude, you’re more likely to give up. This is more likely to happen when our goals are not specific enough or they are too broad.

“We can do that for a few weeks, but then it’s too heavy and we can’t hit what we’re trying to hit, so we go into all-or-nothing mode and we say ‘F it,'” Seti said.

The best way to avoid 100-or-0 and get 80-20 instead is to change your goal and break it down into smaller pieces. Those are steps three and four.

3. ‘Approach’ instead of ‘avoid’

Research published in 2019 in the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine found that the way you set the goal itself plays a role in whether you achieve them, at least when it comes to fitness goals. Specifically, goals that you “approach” rather than goals that you “avoid” a specific behavior are associated with more positive emotions and a greater sense of psychological well-being.

An example of a healthy eating “approach” goal, for example, is, “I will eat more vegetables and nutritious food this year.” An “avoidance” version of the same goal is, “I’m going to cut out candy this year.”

This is why restriction-based diets are less effective than diets where you add healthy foods, as opposed to restricting “bad” ones, according to Seti.

“When we suppress, we make the thing we’re suppressing the most powerful thing in the universe,” he explained. By changing your aim, you can tip the balance of power in your favor.

4. Take small, regular steps toward your big goal

What it looks like will depend on your resolution: Is it work or creative project related, health and wellness related or something else?

If you have a big project you’re working on, for example, practice getting up a little earlier every morning before you start your regular work day to suit your creativity. Or if you can’t miss any sleepfind another small slot in the day that you can devote to working on it.

For health or nutrition purposes, what is considered a “small task” may be a small individual in your specific health plan. But as an example, if your goal is to become more fit, mini “exercise snacks“Easy to squeeze, and find small and reasonable ways to stay active That is always an achievement in itself.

By checking off small accomplishments — eating two servings of vegetables a day, painting for 20 minutes a day, writing for 10 minutes a day, etc. — you have something to look back on as proof that you are slowly working towards your goal.

“They allowed us to build this confidence and the ability to continue,” Seti said.

5. Find like-minded communities

Surrounding yourself with people with similar goals or passions can motivate you and make you feel less alone. Lucky for us, one benefit of social media is that we are in the age of online communities and groups. For example, there is support groups other than Alcoholics Anonymous for people who want to stop using alcohol or reduce their drinking.

There are also groups — such as pottery making, writing, bird watching and more — centered on activities that may be related to your larger goal, and ultimately help you achieve it. To find one, you can start by doing a quick search for “online group for X” or “in person group for X near me.”

And whatever you do, don’t stop exploring the root of your resolution or “connecting the dots.”

“Usually, when we make these goals we connect the dots,” Seti said. “But when we implement it we don’t.”